Resolved Question

What excuse can I use to take the weekend off work?

I have to go away for a couple of days and it's too short notice to ask for the time off. I will be going back in on Monday.

Food poisoning, and divert your home phone to your mobile incase your boss phones you

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Suspected swine flu?! You've been feeling really run down, soar throat, and temperature... not good at all; rang doctor who adviced you to stay in case it was swine flu as symptoms are similar to normal flu... adviced you to give it a couple of days and see if symptoms improve... and Monday comes, you seem a little under the weather, but getting much better, so it must have been just a mild version of normal flu...
It depends on what it is you're going away for, if you're just going off on a whim then mention of a frail relative in the hospital in crtical condition. But my personal best is "I'm too drunk to ride a horse." it throws your boss and fellow co-workers off balance.

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Naughty naughty just make sure its a good one